We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
