Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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