i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
that is very illegal...i love you.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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