yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
