You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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