I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
