go do what you do best...puke behind churches
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
it hurts more in the daytime
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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