Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
