Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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