i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
