i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
