So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I have demons in me.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
