You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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