Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
