lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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