Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
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