Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Randomize
