I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
She's the barista slut.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
