I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
