I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
