I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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