so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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