I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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