btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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