I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
