Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
