Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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