But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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