her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
