i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
