That's when you crack a 10am beer
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
