just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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