when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
