how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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