i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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