If i come over, it means nothing
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
