just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Vodka?
Forever.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
