i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
