I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
