What a fucking waste of an outfit
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Randomize
