oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
