Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
