Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
