Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
