I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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