I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize
