Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Randomize
