It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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