This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
