Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
